You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
