god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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