I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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