Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Randomize
