Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
