This girl is more easily done than said...
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
