Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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