I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
