$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
