I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
what day is it and did you see me today?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
