If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
