sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My dad just said "fuck circus"
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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