spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You ruined the universe
How naked do you want me to be?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
