don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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