You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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