Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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