I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
