No awkward lesbian experiences without me
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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