My nipple is on Facebook.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
