in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
