Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
