Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
