Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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