dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I deserve this hangover.
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