Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
