my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Your dad touched me again.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
