He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
