what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
