Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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