definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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