thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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