im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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