Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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