dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
