I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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