I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
