There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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