winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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