So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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