it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize