his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
