you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
