I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize