do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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