I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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