If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize