I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
