have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
