The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I smell stomach acid.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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