there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
