mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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