Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
