This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
