I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Someone came in the potted fern
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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