he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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