dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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