Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
