I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
