she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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