You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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