And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
