Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
