My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
