I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
