marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
