i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
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