You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
