nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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