Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
