I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
We left the knife in your bed.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Randomize
