he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
