Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
smell my finger.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
