I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
