I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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