it wasn't lemon gatorade
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
There are leaves in my underwear?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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